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When Teen Won’t Talk To parents…
There are many reasons why teenagers tend to shut down around their parents. Even though they especially need parental connection and support.
It is usually hard to communicate to teen. Teens ignore, provoke, defy… Despite that, teens need their parents on their way toward greater autonomy and independence. Parent should continuously be in a teen’s life and be aware of it’s importance.
It is useful to understand the way teens communicate, even when it appears like they don’t. There are plenty of useful literature and parents should take advantage of it. Today’s teens behave differently than teens of previous generations. Times and living conditions are much different too.
Teenagers usually have a different point of view form their parents and it can provoke a dispute. Be prepared to agree to disagree
Accept disagreement: Your teenager may have a different point of view from yours and you need to consider that his view may be valid, too. Be prepared to agree to disagree.
Teens need boundaries and rules but they don’t need stiffness and stubbornness. It is very useful to learn how to negotiate with teen and how to regulate our own emotions.
Communication is a two-way process. Listen well and often. It implies putting away the cell phone and not being distracted by other things when taling or listening. Inmany insances teen avoid talking trying to protect parents from worries or they fear from parent”s response (negative one, anger, disappointment, judgement, disapproval…).
It is also useful to consider timing. Our kid may not be willing to talk when we do. It is ok to wait for the right moment or to consider postponing talk. The right moment can be while doing something together, like dinner for instance.
It is important to avoid judgment while communicating with a teenage kid. But humor is more then wolcome. Use it. It takes the tension out and your teenage kid might be softnened and more willing to share and open.
A sure way to undermine your communication is to say things in anger, those we’d like to take back the very same moment they came out. It is much better to postpone communication while filling emocionally disturbed.
Listening is always the best start. Listen well and often. The more you listen, the more you’ll realize how important iti is. Communication is two-way process, but listening and hearing are most important part of it. We emphasize the importance of good listening and beeing present, int he moment. If you were distracted with anything (tv, radio, computer, telephone) the communication fails.
These basic tips can go a long way toward helping parents communicate better with their teens. But Coleman also gives guidance for how parents can navigate through more worrisome concerns, like teen sexual activity, drug use, Internet addiction, or eating disorders. He offers tips for assessing what’s going on when a teen isn’t talking—and advice for knowing when and how to intervene.
His guidelines are straightforward, balanced, and research-based. For those who want simple advice about how to understand and talk to teens, this book could be for you.
“Teenage Girl Hand Block Violence” - Image courtesy of Ambro at FreeDigitalPhotos.net